I think it is good to have days that completely blow. That way, you appreciate the good days even more. Yesterday was so tremendously BLAH. Sleep sucked. Waking up sucked. Work sucked. Yoga sucked. Dinner sucked. The only thing worth praising was the moment I fell asleep and the day ended. But it is ok. Days like that happen. I am not one of those people that happily bounds through life, skipping through fields of daisies, oblivious to the fact that sometimes shitty days happen.
Yoga was a mess. I was claustrophobic, couldn't breathe, couldn't focus, extra sweaty, extra slippery, the sweat was pouring in my eyes and I couldn't see, the guy in front of me kept splashing me with his excessive sweat, my body hurt, my heart was racing, my lips were chapped, my shirt kept getting stuck in my love handle rolls... and I had awful gas. Yea. I am human, get over it. But one thing that really stood out and worried me: I was SO dizzy. Since I started back with Bikram 2 weeks ago, I have noticed I am tremendously dizzy. Like, can't hold postures, can't move quickly, can't even sit up without the world spinning. Camel used to be one of my favorite postures, now I can't even set up the posture without the room doing cartwheels. Yesterday, as I lay in a dizzy fog of frustration, I was running through all the possible things that could be causing this extreme dizzy feeling. Hydration? No- I drink more water than any human being on earth. Nutrition? No- I eat well, eat enough, and get the nutrients I need. Out of practice for a while? No- I wasn't like this after my 3 or 6 month hiatus last year. That's when it hit me- medicine! I started taking a new medicine about a month ago, and one of the side effects is "may cause dizziness." Well damn, how about that. Stupid little pill that is supposed to fix things is throwing off my Bikram practice big time. While I am glad to know the reason for this out-of-the-blue-dizzy crap, I am also really sad that it is something that I can't fix. I mean, I COULD stop taking my medicine, but ya know, ya usually take medicine for a reason, yea? I guess I am just going to have to adapt my practice and accept the fact that things are going to be a little harder for me.
So, what is the point of this rant? Sometimes the universe throws us curve balls. You have two choices: you can run away, or you can try to make the most of what you've got to work with. This is just another hurdle I have to overcome, but giving up is not an option. Not at all.
