Second of all, I am a Master. A Master's level Clinical Psychologist, at that. Thank you, thank you, thank you....
Third of all, it was brought to my attention that my blog is not "fun" enough. Well, anonymous friend that submitted this suggestion (OMAR), I must remind you that this is a blog about yoga. Though I know that I am a hilarious, witty, amazing, fun-loving gal, this is a spot for me to talk about yoga. But alas, I have agreed to be a bit more "fun" in an entry or two. I can guarantee that from time to time, my yoga entries WILL be humerus, but for now, I will go with something completely different in order to please my readers.
1) I strongly believe that 2 things can say a lot about you, and represent your life in a very reliable way:
A) How you make your PBJ sandwiches. What kind of bread do you use? What kind of PB? Chunky or smooth? What kind of jelly? Or do you use jam? Or preserves? Which do you put on first? Do you lick the knife. As a MASTERS LEVEL CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST, I am allowed to say that how you make your PBJ is a look into your soul. Freud had dreams, I have PBJs. I, personally, make a PBJ as follows. I use only wheat bread, Jif reduced fat crunchy PB, and strawberry jam. The brand of the jam doesn't matter, but it must be jam, not jelly. First I put on the jelly, then the PB. I do this because it is much easier to wipe the jelly off the knife so you dont have to dip a spit-covered knife into the PB, and you don't have to contaminate the PB with the jelly. So, a generous amount of strawberry jelly, wipe off the knife on the clean piece of bread, then dive in to the Jiff Reduced Fat Crunchy PB. Once the PB is on, go to town licking the knife- you dont need it anymore. Wrap it in a paper towel, and enjoy.
B) Your GPS settings. Now, it makes me sad that something so technologically advanced can serve as such a valid window into your soul, but it really does. I have mine set on a British woman's accent ("turn on to the motorway once through the roundabout.") and my car is a big blue monster truck. Get creative. If you are going to have someone screaming instructions to you and sitting with you through your 7 hour long journeys, you may as well enjoy their company. Standard store settings are lame. Spice it up a little. I promise- you will be glad you did.
2) Another thing that was recently brought to my attention is a problem that has been around for ages. Well, not really ages, but at least since 1940s when the first electric clothes dryer hit the market. We always blame the dryer for missing socks. We put the clothes in the washing machine, switch them over, then as we are folding them we say "wtf, where is my other purple striped sock?! the dryer must have eaten it!" First of all, I think it is funny that so many people choose the verb "eaten" in this scenario. I get an amazing mental image of a dryer with fangs and sharp, jagged teeth. It's amazing. Second, why does the dryer always get the blame? Why not the washing machine? Or your lack of organization and inability to keep track of your socks? I guess the whole lint trap factor adds a bit of unknown to the inner workings of the dryer, lending itself very easily to disappearing articles of clothing- but if this was the case, why don't shirts, underwear, or gym shorts go missing? Yea, think about it...
OK well I know there was something else I desperately needed to share with my readers, but I cannot remember what it is at the moment. When I remember, you will get a completely random addition to this completely random entry.
Oh, by the way- my first yoga session starts in an hour. I am excited beyond belief. I have been drinking my water (and peeing every 27 seconds) and I have everything I should need. I have a few hesitant feelings, mostly about my physical abilities, but I am remaining confident and open-minded about the whole situation. I probably wont get to tell you about my sessions until the following morning, but I will be sure to update you all ASAP in the morning. Wish me luck....
