After 3 weeks off, 2 short pain-free runs, and enough determination to get me to the moon and back, I was hoping for the best as I try to salvage my last 3 weeks of training before it is time to taper. Ashley and I set out for an easy 13 on the Green Line. (For those of you that are not Memphians, the Green Line is a 7 mile trail across the city.) It is as flat as can be- no hills, no camber.
I was scared for the run, but I knew Ashley would have my back and keep me in good spirits. The first few miles were fine. The inserts felt fine, my ankles were a tiny bit unhappy, but completely bearable. Around mile 6, they began to act up, but I just slowed it down and focused on form. I also noticed I was getting blisters in my arches from the inserts- my arches are not used to actually touching anything in my shoe, so this new contact caused some rubbing and discomfort. But whatever, I can run through some blister pain. (Though, can you believe it- I have been running for 11 months and this is my FIRST blister! Go figure.) Well, around mile 10, I hit my limit. The pain was so intense. It was worse than the 1/2 marathon. Shooting, stabbing pain, constant, both ankles, and now spreading to the tendons on the top of my foot and front of my ankle.
I stopped running.... and started sobbing.
This was the first time during my training that I have actually felt that I will not be able to do this. That I will not be able to run the marathon. And that broke my heart.
I wont get into all of the reasons WHY I want to run this marathon. It is personal, and frankly, I don't want to bore you. But having to honestly face the fact that I may not be able to finish... well... I cant even begin to explain the feelings....
Ashley let me sob, let me work through my pain and frustration. She was so supportive, and I cannot thank her enough for being by my side. We walked the last 3 miles...
Worst run of my life.
I feel like I have tried everything: braces, taping, ice, rest, meds, vitamins, shoe inserts... what's left? I dont know what to do. I dont know if I should go back to the doctor and get an MRI. I dont know if I should suck it up and keep running. I dont know if I should just rest, then wing it at the race. I dont know if I should face the fact that this is not going to happen. I just dont know what to do....
