Last night was lovely. I enjoyed being in class. I felt much better than I had on Tuesday, and I was very focused and able to clear my mind and be in the moment. I am really looking forward to today's session, and it is only 8:30am.
So I have only been doing Bikram for 17 days now, but I feel that it has become a huge part of my life. It has changed my life already in such a short amount of time. My desire to continue with Bikram grows with each day closer to the end of my 30 day challenge. I don't want to stop. A friend of mine said something so simple, yet it made such an impact on me: "Amy, you don't have to stop." She is right- I don't. I am pretty much decided that I am going to go for it and try for 60 days, but even that seems to be just not enough.
Here is my 7 year old rant of what I want to be when I grow up. I want to go back to school and get my PhD. I do. I truly, honestly, deeply do. But......... I want to do yoga. Not just do yoga.... I want to teach yoga. Not just yoga... Bikram. I want to be a Bikram teacher. I want to go to to Las Vegas, spend 9 weeks training with Bikram Choudhury, and become a certified Bikram teacher. I want to make this a permanent part of my life. Am I crazy? Am I just indulging my imagination in a temporary obsession? Am I just searching for something to DO with my life? I don't know. I want to get my PhD, but I want to be a yogi- can I be both? Why not. Who says I cant do both? Writing it here makes it feel more like just a magical, silly little journal entry- a girl can dream, right? I have not voiced these thoughts out loud or shared them with anyone yet. For some reason, writing about it makes it less of a serious consideration and more of just a silly thought that will pass. And maybe it will pass. But what if it doesn't...?
I am a complete research nerd. Could I use my knowledge of Bikram and mix it with my studies in psychology during my PhD program? Is this way too nerdy and far-fetched? I have a perfect study outlined in my head exploring the benefits of Bikram... a controlled, empirical study... my mind has been racing with thoughts...
I just don't know...
