This mornings’ class was phenomenal. I felt fantastic through the full 90 minutes, and I felt comfortable with my postures. Sandra doesn’t praise us very much- she keeps a very calm and professional demeanor during class. However, I was blown away by her comment to me today. It was right after our second camel (pictured in yesterdays post). We were in savasana and she said, “Amy, beautiful camel, just beautiful. You are making such tremendous progress. Fantastic.” I was speechless! I am true behaviorist (obviously, from my background in ABA), and I feel that positive reinforcement is the best motivation one can offer. I smiled so big that my face hurt. Thank you, Sandra!
As this is almost the half way point in my journey, I thought I would share some positive changes I have seen over the past 2 weeks, both in and out of the bikram studio.
1) The heat doesn’t bother me as much. I don’t drown in my own sweat, and I don’t seem to even feel the temperature anymore. It is almost comforting.
2) I don’t have to take as frequent water breaks and rests.
3) My skin looks amazing. I have battled with acne my whole life, and not once have I been this confident in my skin. It is clear, radiant, glowing, and soft. I get the occasional zit here and there, but nothing compared to what I have had in the past. And the thing that makes me happiest about this is that I did it without the use of harsh chemicals or expensive 4-step treatments.
4) I am full of life. Granted, I am a bit sluggish to get out from under the warm, cozy covers in the morning, but throughout the day I am full of energy. I used to yawn and be sleepy a large portion of the day. Now I feel invigorated and energized all day. And that says a lot considering I gave up caffeine about 3 months ago!
5) I am happy. I am at peace. I am well.
6) My body can feel that it is healing. As I keep saying- I am not sore. I am not in pain. But I do feel a change taking place in my body. I am feeling toned, clean, and healthy.
7) I sleep better. I used to toss and turn, taking at least 20 minutes to fall into a restless sleep. Lately, I am getting amazing sleep. The kind of sleep where you wake up feeling rejuvenated and ready, with a smile on your face.
8) My digestive tract is happy. I will spare the details—lets just say all is well in the bathroom.
9) I don’t know I my body is changing at all (as far as weight loss, becoming more physically fit) but I can look at myself in the mirror and not be completely disgusted. I am happy with what I see. Always room for improvement, but I am content.
10) My hips feel amazing. If you know me, you know my hips are terrible. I used to feel pain after walking even just ½ a mile. (I would make jokes that I will need hip replacements by the time I am 30.) They still ache and pop from time to time, but nothing close to what they used to. I am very, very happy about this.
11) I don’t crave bad food anymore. I heard several people talk about this benefit and I thought, “Yea, right, yoga cant make you eat better- you may choose to, but it wont actually make you change your eating habits! Ha!” But low and behold (where does that saying come from???), I unconsciously am eating healthier. I am not craving bad food. I am savoring, craving, and enjoying fruits and vegetables. (Well, I always enjoy fruits and vegetables, but I have been more so this past week or so.) I see a plate of fries or unhealthy snacks and I have no desire to indulge.
12) My breathing is spectacular. During class, I am able to breath calm, slow, deep breathes through my nose during the entire class. No more gasping for air, no more straining and holding my breath to hold postures, no more wanting to pass out during savasana. My breathing was a huge challenge I mentioned my first day, and I already see tremendous improvement.
13) I don’t feel the need to push beyond my limits just to “say I did.” I am comfortable with my abilities. I don’t grunt, push too hard, or feel I have to get to a certain point in my postures. I push myself just enough, but am happy with where I am and the slow progress I am making.
There are, of course, areas I still do hope to improve on. Not just progressing further into postures, but other aspects of my practice.
1) I have a tendency to puff my stomach out during postures rather than pull it in an tighten the ab muscles. I somehow have grown to correlate strengthening the ab muscules and holding my breath. Every time I try to tuck my stomach in, I find myself not breathing. Though my breathing has improved enormously, my ability to tuck my stomach in is falling stagnant. This is something I really have to focus on and improve.
2) I still find myself looking at others from time to time during class. I don’t know why. This is about me, not them.
So all in all, as you can tell, Bikram has done tremendous things in my life in only 14 days. I am happy with where I am, and I am happy with my life. I am at the park right now, sitting in the sunshine, enjoying the breeze. I forgot how it felt to be truly happy. I missed it.
Today during our final relaxing restorative savasana, I thought to myself, “Why am I only doing this for 30 days?” I am thinking of turning this into a 60 day challenge… we shall see…
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I wrote this entry at the park, as I mentioned earlier. Since there is on internet there, I just saved it to enter when I did get somewhere with internet. I layed on my blanket (having to periodically shimmy to the left to stay under the shade of a tree and avoid the blazing sun- this Irish skin cant take too much sunshine!) and read for about an hour. As I was walking home, I didn’t walk on the path. Instead, I walked through the grass, choosing the route that would let me encounter the most white dandelions, which I would then kick and watch the white seeds dance in the breeze. I felt like I was 5 years old. Just thought I would share that with you, and encourage you to go find some dandelions to kick today.
