i love string cheese

Both the food AND the band. Just got home from a long, stressful, wonderful day at work. Sitting on my big oversized chair eating some mozzarella string cheese and listening to string cheese incident. I cant help but smile from the irony. Sometimes it is the most simple things in life that can bring the most happiness.

"Sometimes it seems like such a hard life,

But there's good times around the bend.

The rollercoaster's got to roll to the bottom

If you want to climb to the top again."

Well, on a happier note...

...Bikram Choudhury is coming to Memphis in September! How exciting!

I dont wanna grow up.

Being an adult has its perks, dont get me wrong. But lately the CONS are tremendously outweighing the PROS.

I am 27. Yes, I have my MA, but I had really hoped to have my PhD by this time... I am paralyzed in the application process and I am so disappointed in myself that I cant even comprehend actually applying at this point. It is pathetic. I am working a job that pays me terribly so I can get "more experience" to get me into this fairy tale, imaginary PhD program that I don't even know if I can muscle up the courage to apply to. I am broke beyond belief- it is all I can do to keep a roof over my head and my bills paid and have a little left over for basic food and transportation. I have no savings, no "fun" money set aside, no safety net in case something bad were to happen. I have passions (bikram, traveling, etc.) that I must eliminate from my life because I cant afford them. Seriously broke. Frighteningly broke. I am in a relationship that is going.... somewhere... not sure where. I chasing some wild dream that seems to vanish with every passing day.

I look around at people my age and I wonder what is wrong with me and why I don't have what others have. I know so many people that are a year or 2 or even 3 younger than me and they seem to have it all: the career, the money, the new car, the funds to travel and have fun, the husband... and I wonder where I went wrong. Granted, it is easy for those who are lucky enough (not blessed, just straight lucky) to be born into money. It makes me mad, and I dont like feeling that way. Yea, good for you, enjoy your silver spoon. Others just seem to have it all together and have it all figured out- everything falling into place. I dont.

Yes, I know I have plenty to be thankful for. I am healthy. I have a beautiful family that loves me unconditionally. I have some amazing friends (but sometimes I get so jealous of THEM that some of this angst and frustration can be wrongfully and gently aimed in their direction) that I wouldn't trade for the world. I DO have a job, which I am thankful for. I have lots of things to be happy about. Dont get me wrong, I am a lucky girl, and I know it.

I am 27 years old. I feel like I am fighting being a grown up so much that I am wasting time and bring all of this frustration upon myself.

Sometimes I just wonder why I seem to be on the fast track to nowhere....

Tomorrow, you're only a day away!

Well, work starts tomorrow. I spent the day today getting organized and unpacking the important stuff. We went to the store and stocked the fridge, which is always a warming feeling that makes a new place feel like more of a home and less of a hotel. Fiona loves it here. She didnt like the ride over, baut once she had a chance to explore and see how much better this place is than our last home, she was all purrrrs. She got "lost" a few times during the night (something she does from time to time) and I could hear her meowing from across the apartment. But she is figuring it out now and spent the whole day recovering from the big move (she worked so hard...) and laying in the sun by the window. Tough life, eh? I'll post pictures later- too tired to get up off the couch to get my camera adapter!

I really like this apartment complex. We went to the gym this evening and I am really exited to have that facility on my finger tips. I am really hoping to turn over a new leaf with this move. Well, a leaf that has been flipped over tons of times, just leaving it on the right side =) I am already very healthy and fit, but there is always room for improvement. I really want to watch what I eat and exercise at least 5 days a week. I promise I will never be one of those freaks that only eats lettuce and applesauce and works out for 65 hours a day- those girls frighten me. I have just really let myself go since I finished my Bikram challenge. I was used to burning 800 calories a day, and now, not so much... I cant wait to check out the new studio here! Just gotta wait for that first paycheck.

Well I could ramble for hours and hours, but I will spare you. Wish my luck tomorrow!

Walkin' in Memphis

So if you havent heard by now, I am moving to Memphis. Brandon got into UT Memphis. He found out about 4 weeks ago- and it started yesterday. So needless to say, we were rushed for time, and I was rushed to make a huge life decision. The next day, I actually got a job interview at UT Memphis also. So we packed up and went over for 2 days. My interview went fantastic and we found a great potential place to live. Before I knew it, a decision was made. The past 4 weeks have been a blur of activity. I got the job. We got the apartment. We are moving. Together. I am kinda freaking out.

We got into our new apartment this past weekend. It is perfect. I love it. So clean, so bright and full of natural light, in a great part of town, and it already feels like home. The city... well, lets just hope it grows on me.

Brandon, like I said, started school yesterday. He is going to be in the MA of Pharmacology (no, not to be a pharmacist) program- it is basically a 1 year feed-in program to their medical school. I am excited for him. I know he is a bit let down that he didnt get into med school straight away, but you must follow the path that you are given.

I start my job this coming monday, the 12th. I am a nervous wreck. I am psyched, but I am so nervous also.

I have wanted to leave Nashville for a long time. I have had some pretty rough times in this city, and no matter what, it will always be associated with these negative happenings. Nonetheless, staring my departure in the eyes and only having 2 days left here is making me a bit sad. I am mostly going to miss my job. Well, not the job itself, this job is complete crap. But the people are amazing. I am really going to miss them. As for you, Nashville, not so sure I will miss you that much.

So there ya go. Memphis, here I come...

Anyway, that is complete in-a-nutshell update on my crazy life. On the positive side- Memphis has a great Bikram studio, and I am psyched to get involved. I probably will have to take a break for a while due to financial reasons, but once I get back on my feet in a month or two, I will be beyond excited to become a part of that community.