the finish line will set you free

so if you wake up with the sunrise

and all your dreams are still as new

and happiness is what you need so bad

well, girl, the answer lies with you

This race is so much more than just a physical challenge for me. It is a symbol of the new person I have become. The past 7 months have been a long road of self-discovery, healing, and realizing where my true happiness lies. This race is the culmination of the soul-searching of the past 7 months. No, I am not done, and I still have much further to go. But I still feel that the moment I cross that finish line, it will be the definitive moment in this journey. It will be the moment I am truly free of my past, and I can confidently go forward in the direction of my dreams, my desires, my happiness, and follow where the universe leads me... I have come so far.

Well, here it is, just 5 days before the race! I am a ball of excitement and can't stop thinking about it... the anticipation is more than I can take! I am doing my best to keep my runs shorter and less intense, as I don't want to hurt myself. I want to make sure my body is healthy and restored. Still, I am realizing how addicted I have become to running- I think of only running 3 miles and I get slightly aggravated... I want to run more!

I have a wild week ahead and will be crazy crazy crazy busy, but hopefully that will make the week fly by so Friday morning will be here before I know it! I probably wont get to update before the race soooooo.... HERE GOES NOTHIN'!

I am ready...

11 mile run and 11 days left

11 mile run, WOW! I can't get over it! And the best part- it felt AMAZING! I got a little tired around mile 7, and my knees ached a little around mile 9, but nothing that couldt be overcome with a little positive self-talk. And thank you, Nate Dogg and Warren G- Retulators, for helping me through that last 1/2 mile =)

I have said it time and time again, but I cannot stress it enough- I have amazing people in my life, and this circle of inspiration is one of the most amazing feelings I have experienced. Another friend of mine, Joanie, has decided to get into running and take the ab challenge! Having someone say that I inspired them to change their life is a compliment that humbles me. I will honestly say that the changes I have made in my life are completely selfish and driven from my desire to improve my life; then to have them inspire others is above and beyond anything I could imagine. My intentions were for self-improvement, but having that grow and expand to helping others is such a great feeling! Good luck, Joan!

My friend Cirbey will be running the 1/2 Marathon next week also! And of course, Bruce and Rachel will be there as well. The excitement is building with every day! I can't wait!

Not sure if I have mentioned it, but yes, I am officially staying in Memphis for another year! Would you believe that THIS girl would grow to love and enjoy this city? So much has changed, and I am really excited for what this next year will bring! Now, just to find a roommate... help!

Now, of course I needed one more unsatisfactory run to remind me that this is still a real challenge and not something I can begin to take for granted. Todays run was, in a word, AWFUL. My iPod died after 2 song, I inhaled about 8 bugs, my head was pounding, my underwear were in complete wedgie formation and up my tush the entire time, and my stomach/intestines felt as if they were attempting to expel themselves from my body. I had the best intentions of making today a strong 5 mile run followed by abs and arms... but alas, it ends with a 2 mile desperate sprint, and some pathetic stretching. I am feeling so yucky- all I want to do is eat dinner, have a glass of wine, and go to sleep. So ya know what? That is what I am going to do. And as mad as I am for not doing what I had set out to do, at least I did something, right?

Weekend bliss

I will write more later when I get the time, but I just wanted to say that I had an amazing weekend. Running, farmers market, new clothes, napping, yummy food, a movie that blows your mind, sunshine, laughs, and endless smiles... I am so happy...

"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about."

Skinny Bitch!

Um, so... I reached my WW goal weight today! I set a goal of 120 lbs, and today I got down to 119.8! I still want to lose 5 lbs as a sort of "safety net" (and because I haven't weighed 115 since high school... I just want to do it to appease my own curiosity), so I still have work to do. But still, WOW! How exciting! I am extremely proud of myself! That is a total of 18 lbs lost. Not only have I lost weight, but I have become SO much healthier, toned, and muscular. My body is different in so many ways as compared to 7 months ago when I started back on WW, and 4 months ago when I started running. I love my new lifestyle!

Monday ramblings

If someone ever told me that one day I would be capable of running 10 miles, I would have laughed in their face. It is amazing what we are capable of with just a bit of dedication, determination, effort, and the support of those around us.

My 10 mile run went perfectly. It is starting to get very warm and humid here in Memphis, so I had to get up pretty early to beat the heat; if waking up at 7:30 on a Saturday and leaving the most comfortable bed on earth isnt dedication, then I dont know what is! I am glad I ran early, though, because by the time I was finishing up the last mile, it was getting slightly uncomfortable. I have never been one to handle the heat well- I would get heat exhaustion at least 5 times every summer when I was little. I still have a hard time with it, and no matter how hydrated I am, I fall apart if I am too hot for too long. I am worried to see how the Memphis summers of 110 degree heat plus 95% humidity will affect my continuation with running. Anyway, the distance was very bearable. I was getting a tiny bit tired towards the end, and I was starving, which I though was strange. Beyond that, I felt on top of the world!

I woke up on Sunday morning with a cold. Yea, that's right, a damn cold. Three of my participants last week were snotty, boogery, coughing, sneezing, slobbery messes... and no amount of rest, vitamin C, and hand sanitizer could protect me. So here I am with a sore throat, fever, stuffy nose, and feeling completely exhausted. Bleh. I still managed to get to the gym for a quick 2 mile run on the treadmill last night (followed immediately by a trip to TCBY... they cancel each other out, right?) and I plan on getting lots of rest tonight. Hopefully this bug wont linger too long...

Other than getting this cold, I had a spectacular weekend. I have such wonderful people in my life, and I am so thankful for the many things that have come my why while living in Memphis. Sometimes it is really easy to get caught up in the negative emotions in our lives, but it is amazing how far a little bit of patience and dedication will get you. Today marks my 9 month anniversary in Memphis, and to say my life has changed a million times for the better since I moved here would be an understatement. It has not been easy, and there were many occasions when I was ready to throw in the towel, but I am really glad I stuck it out. Life really seems to be falling into place now. I love my friends here. My job can be frustrating and beyond stressful, but I know the work I am doing will get me where I want to be in my career, so it is worth it. I am feeling healthy and whole. And as I have said multiple times lately- my heart is full of happiness. I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend! Spring is such a beautiful season- get out and enjoy every bit of it that you can!

Some silly happenings

It has been a while since my last post. I have been terribly busy this week... I love being busy.

3 weeks until the race! I drift back and forth between excited and terrified about 137 times a day. I know I am capable, I know I am ready, but I am still anxious- but in a good way.

Over the past week, I have been great about staying on schedule, keeping strong with my training, and eating well. I have had some interesting runs, learned some hysterical lessons, and had some entertaining events occur, so I thought I would share them....

-Sunscreen is important. I may be like a cheetah out there, but I can't out run the sun. I have a stellar t-shirt burn line.

-I got pooped on by a bird. Enough said.

-Always remember: just because someone has a stop sign or a red light does NOT mean they will actually stop. Or even slow down. Assume all drivers are ignorant.

-No, creepy male drivers, it is NOT ok to slowly drive along side me, yell, whistle, and make obscene gestures. How do you expect me to react? Stop running, hop in the car with you, and ride off into the sunset living happily ever after? What are your intentions here?

-Memphis has a lot of dead birds on the sidewalk. I enjoy stepping on them. I really need to start paying attention.

-My startle reflex has a hair trigger.

-Sometimes it takes more than a polite "excuse me" to make the 4 obese, overly-chatty ladies that are taking up the entire sidewalk move and let you through. Sometimes it takes more than a loud "excuse me." Sometimes it takes more than tapping them on the shoulder. Sometimes it takes more than flailing and shouting.

-Even though I have my headphones in and I can't hear myself singing, other people can.

10 mile run this weekend! Wish me luck!

9 miles of peace

Official results from the Opening Eyes to Autism 5k
Time: 25:53
9th place out of 219 females total
No age group break-down

I am really happy with my performance at this race. I am sure that, if nothing else comes of this challenge once the 1/2 marathon is completed, I will continue to run local 5k races, and maybe try to keep increasing my speed.

Saturday was my 9 mile run, and it was wonderful. Again, I ran slower than molasses, but felt good and I enjoyed it. The weather this past weekend was absolutely perfect and I was in a wonderful place mentally. I felt very at peace with my life. Lately I have been very anxious about where I am going, the big decisions that I am facing, and just what in the world I am supposed to be "doing" with my life. During the 2 hours of running I felt like I am where I need to be, and I am doing what I should be, and that I need to stop searching. It is hard to just be content with where you are and what you have, ya know?

Carrie sent me this quote... (Can you tell I am a quote/lyric junkie? Yea.)

The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.

What do I want?

Mama and Daddio hit the road!

Walking their first 5K! So proud of them!

Opening Eyes to Autism 5k

Finished in 25:52, thats about an 8:30 mile! Shazam!

This is my friend and coworker, Bruce. He has been a fantastic inspiration and has been so supportive throughout my training! Thanks, Bruce!

Mom and dad join the club

My mom and dad are going to be walking a 5k tomorrow! I am so excited for them! My mom said that I inspired her to get involved and get moving, and that is so flattering... I am really proud of them!

I have a 5k race tonight- my first night race! I am stoked for it. I am feeling MUCH better today. I spent all afternoon yesterday sleeping and resting, and my tooth really doesn't hurt that terribly much today. I am glad I took the day off yesterday- 1 day of running was not worth getting myself in over my head and being in pain.
Tomorrow is the 9 mile run, yikes! It is going to be a BEAUTIFUL weekend, and while I have a TON to do, I plan on making the most of the sunshine! Can't wait to get outside and soak it up!