let no one steal your peace

I was talking with one of my best friends on the phone yesterday and she said something that made me feel wonderful. She said, "Amy, I am so proud of you. You will do this. When you put your mind to something, you accomplish it. So may people say they will do things, then quit. You always follow through."

I've had some frustrating stuff going on in my life lately, and that is party why I decided upon this challenge. I would be lying if I didn't say that part if my drive is simple distraction. Sometimes, life just gets so intense that you need a vacation. This is my means of forcing myself to have at least a 20 minute vacation daily. As was with Bikram, this is MY time. This is my opportunity to focus on myself, my self improvement, my growth, and my happiness. There are several things in my life that are toxic and are breeding negativity. I vow here and now to 1) remove those things that I am capable of removing, and 2) doing my best to guard myself for the negativity I cannot avoid. I don't need such things in my life bringing me down. I will let no one steal my peace.

Today will complete the 1st week of my training. It was rather simple and manageable, and I am thankful for that. Right now, my only concern is the weather. I was really looking forward to getting outside this weekend (since it is already pitch black when I get home from work) and doing some road training. Unfortunately, it has been so terribly cold, windy, and rainy that the treadmill continues to have my name on it. Oh well. I am sure the sunshine will find its way to my street one of these days.

Well, time for some breakfast, then to the gym. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, my friends!

ready... set... GO!

First of all, THANK YOU to all of the people that have already shown amazing support. I have some truly amazing people in my life, and I thank you all for being so supportive in my challenges. Keep the good advice, tips, and words of encouragement coming!

I found a training schedule that I really like. Since I really am starting from scratch, I decided to follow an 8 week 5k (3.1 mile) training schedule first, then do a 12 week 1/2 marathon (13.1 mile) training schedule. The timing works out perfectly; I will have extra week to either allow for any missed days along the way or to repeat the last week of training before the race on April 30th. Of course I am obsessive and made a great spreadsheet to use that displays the date, what the program suggests I do, and what I actually do. I think this will be really helpful to track my progress and to keep me motivated. It is printed and hanging on my fridge already. (Nerd, I know, be nice!) I just want to do this right- I dont want to get hurt, and I dont want to ever be unsure of where I should be in my progress.

I went to Fleet Feet and they tested my running style and stride. I got some great shoe suggestions and learned 1) I have very narrow feet, and 2) running shoes should be .5-1 size too big. So thanks, very very cute guy at the running store! Your advice was very helpful!

I also went to Target (of course) and got some cold weather running gear. Of course I would choose the 2 coldest months of the year to take up running. I can always use the treadmill, but I dont want to rely on that; I definitely want to get some "road experience", and also have the chance to mix up my route.

I officially started the schedule yesterday with a simple, slow, calm 1.5 mile run. Nothing huge, but I am glad to be starting off slow. I would rather start slow and do it right then get in over my head. The first 4 weeks of the 5k schedule are very slow, but I am glad for that. It will give me a chance to get my breathing, stride, and cardiovascular system spot on.

Today was a rest/walk day, but I was feeling a little motivated (I enjoy taking my anger and frustration to the gym!) and did some cardio and weight training. Not much, just enough to ease my troubled mind.

Well, thanks again for reading. Again, please keep the tips and advice coming, I really REALLY appreciate it!

Run, baby. Run.

I have been terrible about updating. Life has been busy, that's for sure. Friends, boys, work, school, family... there is always something on my plate. GOOD things, for the most part. It has been 3 months since life threw me this lemon, and I am glad to say that I have made the tastiest, sweetest, most refreshing lemonade of the situation.

While this blog was created to follow my journey through the 30-turned-60-day-Bikram-Challenge, my Bikram life has, as previously mentioned, taken a slight... hiatus. Money, money, money. Enough said. So... NEXT CHALLENGE....

I had a pretty rough few days last week; things just weren't falling into place and I was feeling very stressed and lost. On Saturday, I had a huge meltdown because of my current living situation; I was let down, once again, by a promising apartment ("Oh you will just love this cute little place!" ...except its a crack house with roaches.) As I drove back to my apartment, teary eyed and anxious beyond belief, I got stuck in traffic for 30 minutes due to the St. Jude's marathon that was taking place in Memphis that morning. Everyone looked so... proud. I was immediately brought back to the overwhelming sense of accomplishment I felt the day I completed my 60 day Bikram challenge. I want that feeling again. I enjoy having something to strive for, to work towards, to occupy my time, and to feel that amazing sense of determination. So that's when I decided that I will be one of those proud runners next year. I will run the St. Jude's 1/2 marathon next December.

I don't run. Well, lets rephrase that- I don't know how to run. I try to, but always fail. My hips hurt, my knees hurt, I get bored, and I look like a t-rex with my arms all jacked up. It is really quite comical. Seriously. If you are ever feeling down, just ask me to run some laps for you. You will laugh your face off in no time flat. So this is a much bigger challenge for me than you would think. I think a 1/2 marathon is perfect. Any further and I truly feel you are doing more harm to your body than good. So, 1/2 marathon it is.

After thinking about it and looking at training schedules, it is pretty obvious that a full 12 months is way more time than is necessary to train for such an event. (Even for this t-rex.) So, while I still hope and plan to run the St. Jude's race next December, I have moved my goal date up to April 30th- the Music City Marathon in Nashville. I was in that city for 3 years and would always watch the racers, but never got involved. Go figure.

I am going to spend the next 3 weeks just getting myself prepared... finding some new shoes, finalizing a training schedule, and just getting myself into the mindset. Several of the training schedules I have found say "this schedule assumes you are already able to run 30 minutes without stopping, whatever your pace may be." Yea, I can't do that. So I am just going to work on that for a while- getting out and running, even if turtles are passing me, for 30 minutes. I will start an official training schedule in January- that will give me 4 months of focused, structured training.

Some people may not see this as a big deal. "It's just a long run." Well, I dare you to give it a try, then. Lord knows I am not in the best physical shape. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am very healthy and pretty fit, but I am in no shape to run 13 miles straight. And like I said- I don't know the first thing about running. So to me, this is a huge challenge. But like Bikram says, "It's never too late to start from scratch again." And boy oh boy, I am starting from scratch.

With that, I hope you will stick with me and my endless ramblings... I am very excited about the next 4 months and the challenges and successes I will face. I hope you will share these moments with me.

random ramblings...

ya know it is really funny... emotions... they are so... random. you want them gone, but you want them to stay. you want them for certain things and certain people, but not for others. when they are there and you don't want them, you obsess over them. and when they aren't there, it doesn't make any sense. sad emotions here, ecstatic emotions on my sleeve, confused emotions there, inappropriate emotions hidden, wonderful emotions timid to show their faces... it's a messy, tangled web. all of these emotions... even if you aren't an "emotional person," how can one person keep it all straight?

sorry for that confusing cathartic nothingness...

a few of my favorite things...

sleeping like a baby.

long walks on the mississippi river.

new coffee shops with fun new tea.

laughing so hard it hurts.

kissing boys.

squinting as i watch the sun set.

eating healthy.

feeling healthy.

being healthy.

leaves on the ground crunching under my bare feet.

windows down as i drive.

peeling labels off michelob ultra.

football wins and heartbreaks.

phone calls from far away friends

homemade quilts.

homemade cookies.

fresh veggies on a saturday morning.

texts that make me blush.

let it be.

autumn breezes.

...just a few of the things that have filled my heart with joy the past few days...

yea, id say i am a happy girl.

let it be

I did it. Never, ever, EVER thought I would....

I love it so much. So happy with my decision.

life the life you love

Well, my Tigers didnt pull out a win (which I will admit, caused a few tears) but I still had the most amazing weekend ever, thanks to Carrie, an amazing hike, PBR, and a track suit.

Hello, sunshine.

BIKE GANG

Touch the sky!

The universe will provide.

So needless to say, my time in North Carolina was phenomenal. I made a lot of realizations about my life, the changes that have taken place, and where I am heading. Thank you, Carrie, and to all of my new friends, for filling my heart with so much laughter!

It was tough leaving that happiness and coming back to Memphis, but I realized that I already do have a lot of happiness associated with this city. I mean, all things considered, I have had a pretty amazing time here thus far! And, I got to christen MY apartment by sharing a nice bottle of champagne with my friends! Bring it on, air mattress on the floor, bring it on. I am loving my life, and most importantly, I am loving MYSELF.

Celebration!

Dear Dabo,

Dear Dabo,
This weekend, Clemson plays UNC. Now I know this season has been a bumpy ride thus far, but if there is any way you could squeak out a win against UNC, I would really appreciate it. As my new found hatred for the Tar Heels will peak this Saturday at 3:30pm, I think beating the pants off those baby blue b*tches would be essential in my recovery process. So really, just open it up on them- no mercy. If bones are broken and players are hurt (on the other team, of course) that will only increase my happiness. So to you, Dabo, and to the Clemson Tigers football team, do this for me, please? I thank you in advance for the hard core beat down that will take place tomorrow.
All my love,
Amy

FREEDOM FEST!

If you've seen the movie Old School, you know what I am going for here! Amypalooza, Freedom Festival, Peace & Harmony Fest, whatever you wanna call it, it was amazing. Thanks, friends, for a spectacular night out. Nothing like drinking games (si, mucho gusto, arrrrrgg!), divers, tourettes, glowing bracelets, funny hats, trolley rides, wet willies, and dancing like a rockstar to mend a broken heart!

Maureen and I at Silky OSullivan's drinking the Diver.

Dani, Val, Maureen and I... VIP!

It has been a while...

Hello friends. I know it has been a while and I have gone completely MIA, and I apologize for that. Things have been, well, no need to describe.

Life in Memphis is getting better- MUCH better. I realized that when I first moved here, I really wasnt going out and doing things and meeting people as I should have. I was happy in my little bubble and couldnt see beyond that. Well, the past few weeks have really opened my eyes to what is out there, and man am I enjoying it! I have made some amazing friends here and cannot thank them enough for all they have done for me the past month. I couldnt ask for a better support system. I am really enjoying Memphis, believe it or not. I am acting like a little college girl again- going OUT 3 nights in a row?! I love it! Thank you to you, friends, for everything.

Val, Dani, Amy, Pam- on Beale street with one of the famous "flippers"

All of my friends and family, for that matter, have been my saving grace. I have been bombarded by phone calls, emails, letters, texts, visits, and unconditional love. Not a day goes by that I am not reminded endless times that I have the most fantastic and loving people in my life. I am so lucky to have you all by my side. I couldnt ask for more.

I dont know where I am heading, and I dont know what my new life will bring, but I know I am here for a reason. Despite everything that I have had to go through, I know I am here, right now, for a reason. I know the universe has a plan for me- I know everything will happen as it must. But I cant help but wonder...

So, yes, Bikram has taken a back seat. Unfortunately, this is a time when I need it most, but with everything going on, money is a terrible burden right now, and I just cant swing it. So, maybe this blog will take a turn for a little while... less about my Bikram practice, more about my journey to rediscover myself. I have spent 4 years giving myself to someone else that I have managed to neglect and lose myself. Now, it is my turn for a little TLC.

So here's to a new beginning... a new chapter in my life... a journey of rediscovery and personal growth... care to join me?