Many firsts, and the first of many...

Today's run brought many new things my way...

-My first major cramp. In my abdomen. Awful stitch. I am confident this is because I haven't had much water to drink over the past few days (cookies and hot chocolate are much yummier during the holidays...) and I was slightly dehydrated. Wow, it was awful. Lesson learned- drink drink drink.

-My first music-free run. My iPod died after about 3 minutes. Silence. Nothing but me and my thoughts. At first I was terrified- worried that it would mess up my pace and I would lose the fun motivation of my favorite songs. Surprisingly, I enjoyed it. I am timid to let myself get lost with my thoughts (denial is a wonderful thing) but perhaps I am looking at it the wrong way. Maybe the silence and personal therapy session is just what I need.

-My first experience with rubbing. I don't care if it is TMI- but man alive, my underwear were NOT having it today. Rub rub itch rub OUCH. Hello. Not fun. Enough said.

-My first experience with hills. I knew I couldn't (and shouldn't) avoid them any longer, and doing so would only hurt me in the long run. I am still at my parents' house, so I ran around their neighborhood. No major hills, but more than the amazingly flat Memphis riverfront has to offer. Ok, hills, you win. I will get to be better friends with you eventually.

-My first feelings of doubt and fear. Lets actually turn this around with a positive spin for a moment and start out by saying...

...I REGISTERED FOR THE RACE!

...now back to the fear. So many things. The logistics of it, getting there, the insanity at the beginning of the race, will anyone be there with me, will I be alone, so nervous, so excited, what if I get hurt, what if I cant do it, it is so far, how long will it take me, freaking out, what if nobody is there to congratulate me, what if I fall, what if I give up, 13.1 miles, 13.1 miles, 13.1 miles, so nervous. CHILL OUT, AMY! YOU CAN DO THIS! Positive self talk overload is necessary right now! It will be fine. Yes, I will be nervous. Yes, this is going to be scary and a challenge. BUT THAT'S WHY I AM DOING IT! I am the only one that can stop myself from doing this, and I am the only one that can make myself do this. It is all up to me. Yikes.

May your days be merry and bright!

Merry Christmas, friends!

I had a beautiful day today; it was perfect! Nora loved her gifts, as did everyone else. We laughed, we cried (out of happiness!), we played, we ate too much, we napped, we laughed and played more, and we loved one another unconditionally. (And we only had 1 fight, I think that is a family record!)

And I ran. Christmas eve and day. Whoohoo! Way to stay on schedule!

With the many things that had the potential to weigh on my mind these past 2 days and get me down, I submerged myself in the love I feel for my dysfunctional, argumentative, insane, neurotic family, and I have enjoyed every second of my time.

I hope you all had a beautiful day and are going to bed with a full belly, a full heart, and some cool new toys =)

Love, love, love.

Dear Memphis...

Dear Memphis,
I am a nice person. I pay my taxes, I yield to pedestrians, I donate money to good causes, I recycle, and I smile at everyone I meet.
Why, tell me WHY, then, do you insist on making my life a sh*t show? Ever since I got here, you have thrown me one curve ball after another. When will you realize I am a good person and you should just let me be happy? Time and time again, I am promised wonderful things, only to have my high hopes smashed. I believe in Karma, I do. And I want to know 1) what I did to make you treat me this way, or 2) when my good Karma is going to begin coming back around?
So, Memphis, with that, I beg of you- enough is enough. Just let me be happy. I, for some unknown reason, seem to love you unconditionally, yet you keep hurting me. Enough already.
Sincerely,
Amy

the shoes make the woman?

No, the woman makes the shoes!

A girl needs a break from running shoes and yoga mats every once in a while... ;)

good day, sunshine!

I am so happy... =)

1) I just had the best run. It is gorgeous out- not a could in the sky, chilly but clear and crisp. Finally, I got to run outside. Running along the river bluff with the sun sparkling on the Mississippi- it is gorgeous. This isnt the prettiest city ever, but that river front area always gets me. I am so glad I live right on the water. I feel great and I did really well with my pace. I enjoy running outside a lot more- the distance and time isnt nearly as daunting as when you are a treadmill and you have those red numbers flashing in your face. I feel amazing. Thank you, sunshine!

2) I am doing a really good job of removing the negative things from my life. I am proud of myself for my positivity and persistence. I am amazing, and I deserve amazing things surrounding me. Enough said.

3) I had a really amazing time out last night. I met so many wonderful people, and I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. It is really nice to meet people that you just click with and can have a great time with. I look forward to hanging out with them all again. Sometimes it can be hard to "make friends" as you get older- not as many opportunities, and it seems like everyone is either married or creepy. Well, I am glad to say I found several exceptions to this usual. Great night, great people. Smiling big.

I am really happy with where I am in my life.

words of wisdom

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

[Jackie Kennedy]

The past 3 months have been a true test. A new city, a new job, new heartbreak, and struggling with trying to find myself amongst the clutter. I will be honest- there were times I wanted to give up and fall apart- but I held on. My struggles are far from over, but I just keep putting one foot in front of the other...

Days like this...

I just walked in from the gym- like, literally just walked in and still have my jacket on- but had to write right away.

I felt like crap today. (Hmmm wonder why? Thank you, Happy Mexican. Thank you.) My stomach was mad, my head was mad, my entire body was mad. I was angry and distracted by my wandering thoughts. I was sore beyond belief from lifting yesterday, and it was all I could do to lift my arm to look at my watch and wonder what time I would finally force myself to go run. I managed to get there, got on the treadmill, and hated life. I only had to run 1.5 miles, but when you feel like I did, that may as well have been 90 miles.

But I did it.

And ya know what?

I still feel like crap. But I did it. I didnt wimp out, I didnt break stride, and I didnt beat myself up about it. I did it. I am sure there will be many days to come when all I want to do is lay on the couch and ignore training. So I am glad to see that my first encounter with a day like this ended in a victory.

Now, I am going to shower and go to bed.

let no one steal your peace

I was talking with one of my best friends on the phone yesterday and she said something that made me feel wonderful. She said, "Amy, I am so proud of you. You will do this. When you put your mind to something, you accomplish it. So may people say they will do things, then quit. You always follow through."

I've had some frustrating stuff going on in my life lately, and that is party why I decided upon this challenge. I would be lying if I didn't say that part if my drive is simple distraction. Sometimes, life just gets so intense that you need a vacation. This is my means of forcing myself to have at least a 20 minute vacation daily. As was with Bikram, this is MY time. This is my opportunity to focus on myself, my self improvement, my growth, and my happiness. There are several things in my life that are toxic and are breeding negativity. I vow here and now to 1) remove those things that I am capable of removing, and 2) doing my best to guard myself for the negativity I cannot avoid. I don't need such things in my life bringing me down. I will let no one steal my peace.

Today will complete the 1st week of my training. It was rather simple and manageable, and I am thankful for that. Right now, my only concern is the weather. I was really looking forward to getting outside this weekend (since it is already pitch black when I get home from work) and doing some road training. Unfortunately, it has been so terribly cold, windy, and rainy that the treadmill continues to have my name on it. Oh well. I am sure the sunshine will find its way to my street one of these days.

Well, time for some breakfast, then to the gym. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, my friends!

ready... set... GO!

First of all, THANK YOU to all of the people that have already shown amazing support. I have some truly amazing people in my life, and I thank you all for being so supportive in my challenges. Keep the good advice, tips, and words of encouragement coming!

I found a training schedule that I really like. Since I really am starting from scratch, I decided to follow an 8 week 5k (3.1 mile) training schedule first, then do a 12 week 1/2 marathon (13.1 mile) training schedule. The timing works out perfectly; I will have extra week to either allow for any missed days along the way or to repeat the last week of training before the race on April 30th. Of course I am obsessive and made a great spreadsheet to use that displays the date, what the program suggests I do, and what I actually do. I think this will be really helpful to track my progress and to keep me motivated. It is printed and hanging on my fridge already. (Nerd, I know, be nice!) I just want to do this right- I dont want to get hurt, and I dont want to ever be unsure of where I should be in my progress.

I went to Fleet Feet and they tested my running style and stride. I got some great shoe suggestions and learned 1) I have very narrow feet, and 2) running shoes should be .5-1 size too big. So thanks, very very cute guy at the running store! Your advice was very helpful!

I also went to Target (of course) and got some cold weather running gear. Of course I would choose the 2 coldest months of the year to take up running. I can always use the treadmill, but I dont want to rely on that; I definitely want to get some "road experience", and also have the chance to mix up my route.

I officially started the schedule yesterday with a simple, slow, calm 1.5 mile run. Nothing huge, but I am glad to be starting off slow. I would rather start slow and do it right then get in over my head. The first 4 weeks of the 5k schedule are very slow, but I am glad for that. It will give me a chance to get my breathing, stride, and cardiovascular system spot on.

Today was a rest/walk day, but I was feeling a little motivated (I enjoy taking my anger and frustration to the gym!) and did some cardio and weight training. Not much, just enough to ease my troubled mind.

Well, thanks again for reading. Again, please keep the tips and advice coming, I really REALLY appreciate it!

Run, baby. Run.

I have been terrible about updating. Life has been busy, that's for sure. Friends, boys, work, school, family... there is always something on my plate. GOOD things, for the most part. It has been 3 months since life threw me this lemon, and I am glad to say that I have made the tastiest, sweetest, most refreshing lemonade of the situation.

While this blog was created to follow my journey through the 30-turned-60-day-Bikram-Challenge, my Bikram life has, as previously mentioned, taken a slight... hiatus. Money, money, money. Enough said. So... NEXT CHALLENGE....

I had a pretty rough few days last week; things just weren't falling into place and I was feeling very stressed and lost. On Saturday, I had a huge meltdown because of my current living situation; I was let down, once again, by a promising apartment ("Oh you will just love this cute little place!" ...except its a crack house with roaches.) As I drove back to my apartment, teary eyed and anxious beyond belief, I got stuck in traffic for 30 minutes due to the St. Jude's marathon that was taking place in Memphis that morning. Everyone looked so... proud. I was immediately brought back to the overwhelming sense of accomplishment I felt the day I completed my 60 day Bikram challenge. I want that feeling again. I enjoy having something to strive for, to work towards, to occupy my time, and to feel that amazing sense of determination. So that's when I decided that I will be one of those proud runners next year. I will run the St. Jude's 1/2 marathon next December.

I don't run. Well, lets rephrase that- I don't know how to run. I try to, but always fail. My hips hurt, my knees hurt, I get bored, and I look like a t-rex with my arms all jacked up. It is really quite comical. Seriously. If you are ever feeling down, just ask me to run some laps for you. You will laugh your face off in no time flat. So this is a much bigger challenge for me than you would think. I think a 1/2 marathon is perfect. Any further and I truly feel you are doing more harm to your body than good. So, 1/2 marathon it is.

After thinking about it and looking at training schedules, it is pretty obvious that a full 12 months is way more time than is necessary to train for such an event. (Even for this t-rex.) So, while I still hope and plan to run the St. Jude's race next December, I have moved my goal date up to April 30th- the Music City Marathon in Nashville. I was in that city for 3 years and would always watch the racers, but never got involved. Go figure.

I am going to spend the next 3 weeks just getting myself prepared... finding some new shoes, finalizing a training schedule, and just getting myself into the mindset. Several of the training schedules I have found say "this schedule assumes you are already able to run 30 minutes without stopping, whatever your pace may be." Yea, I can't do that. So I am just going to work on that for a while- getting out and running, even if turtles are passing me, for 30 minutes. I will start an official training schedule in January- that will give me 4 months of focused, structured training.

Some people may not see this as a big deal. "It's just a long run." Well, I dare you to give it a try, then. Lord knows I am not in the best physical shape. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am very healthy and pretty fit, but I am in no shape to run 13 miles straight. And like I said- I don't know the first thing about running. So to me, this is a huge challenge. But like Bikram says, "It's never too late to start from scratch again." And boy oh boy, I am starting from scratch.

With that, I hope you will stick with me and my endless ramblings... I am very excited about the next 4 months and the challenges and successes I will face. I hope you will share these moments with me.